1. We can get laid anytime we want
2. We never have to buy our own drinks at the bar
3. We piss sitting down so its easier to pass out on the toilet when you’re drunk
4. We get out of speeding tickets by crying
5. We get out of speeding tickets by showing a little cleavage or leg
6. We can sleep our way to the top of the class
7. We get to shop at Victoria’s Secret
8. We can marry rich and then not have to work
9. We never have to pay when we go out on dates
10. Men take us on all expense paid trips - all we have to do is sleep with them
11. Men light our cigarettes for us
12. Men hold the door open for us
13. We pout better (those puppy dog eyes always work!)
14. We’re cuter
15. We lie better
16. We’re better manipulators
17. We always end up sleeping in the bed when we fight with our other halves - you guys get the
couch.
18. We always have food in the fridge
19. We don’t worry about losing our hair
20. We always get to choose the movie
21. We don’t have to mow the lawn
22. We don’t have to take out the garbage
23. We don’t have to paint the house or walls
24. PMS - yet another excuse to bitch at men
25. Cosmopolitan
26. We can con our way out of anything - not just dig ourselves deeper into a hole
27. Men unlock our side of the car first - a real bonus when its cold
28. PMS is a legal defense for murder
29. Men are like tiles, lay em right the first time ya can walk all over em forever
30. We can masturbate more in a day than men
31. 2 words - multi orgasmic
32. We don’t have to constantly adjust our genitals
33. Sweat is sexy on us
34. We never run out of excuses
35. You guys may get to think about sex 200 times a day, but we could be having it that often
36. Doggie style - that way we get to watch the game too
37. We get expensive jewelry as gifts that we NEVER have to give back
38. We get candy, flowers and jewelry all the time cuz men fuck up so often
39. We can give “the look” that will make any man want to cower in the corner
40. Women are cleaner
41. Women have more than one erogenous zone (in case you guys didn’t know)
42. We’re better arguers
43. We don’t always have to think with our genitals
44. Massage!!!!
45. We’re better parents
46. We never have to sit home alone on a weekend night
47. There’s never a shortage of ready, willing and able men
48. We’re flexible
49. When women get pissed we don’t destroy property or hurt people - we just take it out on the
world in general because we can
50. Menopause - thank god we’re not capable of having children after we’re 50
51. Menstruation - just another excuse to use so we can say “no” to sex
52. Men in uniform
53. There is no penis envy
54. We can just roll over and go to sleep after we masturbate because there’s no messy cleanup
55. It generally takes us less to get drunk
56. We have a higher tolerance to pain
57. We often get to cut in line
58. Most women actually look good in short shorts - men DON’T
59. Better tips
60. Women who don’t wear underwear are considered sexy and wild, when men do it, its rather disgusting
61. We have mastered civilized eating - we don’t embarrass our friends or make loud bodily noises in public
62. Women can go a day without showering or shaving and not look or smell disgusting - thank god for long pants and perfume!
63. We can connive men into doing our homework, writing our papers or carrying our books
anytime we want
64. We don’t have excessive amounts of body hair
65. We don’t spend 45 minutes on the toilet
66. Men will pay us for sex
67. Smoking the seeds in marijuana doesn’t make us sterile
68. We can throw a punch at a man and not get hit in return
69. Men may fantasize about having sex with more than one woman at a time, but we can have sex with an entire football team at once if we want
70. Men walk on the side of the sidewalk closest to the road so that if a car hits us, he gets hurt not us
71. Women sweat less
72. Women smell better
73. When women make their boyfriends mad, we don’t have to waste money on flowers or cards
- a blowjob and sex fixes all
74. Men are more often serial killers, thieves, rapists and cheats
75. Women don’t get the humor in the three stooges
76. Women have three accessible holes
77. We don’t get embarrassed when buying tampons
78. We’re better gossips
79. We have better fashion sense
80. We’re better shoppers
81. We don’t have to make fools out of ourselves to impress a man
82. Our friends don’t pick on us if we aren’t sleeping with anyone
83. Men don’t know what our ‘girl talk’ is all about (and I’m not gonna tell you)
84. We’re all sittin on a gold mine - we know it and use it to our extreme advantage
85. We don’t have to drive when on a date 86. An ugly woman can use makeup and get a new hairdo to become presentable - ugly men are just fucked 87. Women can use the old “that mark
on my neck is from a curling iron burn” line
88. Women know how fake it
89. Women look better naked
90. We know that rhythm doesn’t only pertain to dancing
91. When women are short, we’re petite, when men are short, they’re just short
92. Women do less time for violent crime
93. Women don’t have to worry about not being able to get it up
94. An oblong vegetable is all we need for a good time any night
95. Women’s conversations generally consist of more than just “uh huh, yep ok then bye”
96. Women don’t need an excuse to be in a bad mood
97. Women never have to see combat
98. The remote control is not an extension of ourselves
99. Women are sexier
and the 100th reason its better to be a woman - this one is definitely worthy of reiteration:
100. We can get laid ANYTIME, ANYWHERE, ANY WAY we want it!
101 Things NOT to say during SEX
1. But everybody looks funny naked!
2. You woke me up for that?
3. Did I mention the video camera?
4. Do you smell something burning?
5. (in a janitor’s closet) And they say romance is dead…
6. Try breathing through your nose.
7. A little rug burn ever hurt anyone!
8. Is that a Medic-Alert Pendant?
9. Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?
10. But whipped cream makes me break out.
11. Person 1: This is your first time..right? Person 2: Yeah.. today
12. (in the No Tell Motel) Hurry up! This room rents by the Hour!
13. Can you please pass me the remote control?
14. Do you accept Visa?
15. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
16. On second thought, let’s turn off the lights.
17. And to think- I was really trying to pick up your friend!
18. So much for mouth-to-mouth.
19. (using body paint) Try not to leave any stains, okay?
20. Hope you’re as good looking when I’m sober…
21. (holding a banana) It’s just a little trick I learned at the zoo!
22. Do you get any premium movie channels?
23. Try not to smear my make-up, will ya!
24. (preparing to use peanut butter sexually) But I just steam-cleaned
25. Got any penicillin?
26. But I just brushed my teeth…
27. Smile, you’re on Candid Camera
28. I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!
29. I want a baby!
30. So much for the fulfillment of sexual fantasies!
31. (in a menage a trois) Why am I doing all the work?
32. Maybe we should call Dr. Ruth…
33. Did you know the ceiling needs painting?
34. I think you have it on backwards.
35. When is this supposed to feel good?
36. Put that blender back in the kitchen where it belongs!
37. You’re good enough to do this for a living!
38. Is that blood on the headboard?
39. Did I remember to take my pill?
40. Are you sure I don’t know you from somewhere?
41. I wish we got the Playboy channel…
42. That leak better be from the waterbed
43. I told you it wouldn’t work without batteries!
44. But my cat always sleeps on that pillow..
45. Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed?
46. If you quit smoking you might have more endurance..
47. No, really… I do this part better myself!
48. It’s nice being in bed with a woman I don’t have to inflate!
49. This would be more fun with a few more people..
50. You’re almost as good as my ex!
51. Do you know the definition of statutory rape?
52. Is that you I smell or is it your mattress stuffed with rotten potatoes?
53. You look younger than you feel.
54. Perhaps you’re just out of practice.
55. You sweat more than a galloping stallion!
56. They’re not cracker crumbs, it’s just a rash.
57. Now I know why he/she dumped you…
58. Does your husband own a sawed-off shotgun?
59. You give me reason to conclude that foreplay is overrated.
60. What tampon?
61. Have you ever considered liposuction?
62. And to think, I didn’t even have to buy you dinner!
63. What are you planning to make for breakfast?
64. I have a confession…
65. I was so horny tonight I would have taken a duck home!
66. Are those real or am I just behind the times?
67. Were you by any chance repressed as a child?
68. Is that a hanging sculpture?
69. You’ll still vote for me, won’t you?
70. Did I mention my transsexual operation?
71. I really hate women who actually think sex means something!
72. Did you come yet, dear?
73. I’ll tell you who I’m fanatasizing about if you tell me who you’re
fantasizing about…
74. A good plastic surgeon can take care of that in no time!
75. Does this count as a date?
76. Oprah Winfrey had a show about men like you!
77. Hic! I need another beer for this please.
78. I think biting is romantic- don’t you?
79. Q: You can cook, too right? A: (Whaddaya think I’m doin’?)
80. When would you like to meet my parents?
81. Maybe it would help if I thought about someone I really like…
82. Have you seen “Fatal Attraction”?
83. Sorry about the name tags, I’m not very good with names.
84. Don’t mind me.. I always file my nails in bed.
85. (in a phone booth) Do you mind if I make a few phone calls?
86. I hope I didn’t forget to turn the gas oven off. Do you have a light?
87. Don’t worry, my dog’s really friendly for a Doberman.
88. Sorry but I don’t do toes!
89. You could at least ACT like you’re enjoying it!
90. Petroleum jelly or no petroleum jelly, I said NO!
91. Keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper…
92. I’ll bet you didn’t know I work for “The Enquirer”.
93. So that’s why they call you MR. Flash!
94. My old girlfriend used to do it a LOT longer!
95. Is this a sin too?
96. I’ve slept with more women than Wilt Chamberlain
97. Hey, when is it going to be my friend’s turn?
98. Long kisses clog my sinuses…
99. Please understand that I’m only doing this for a raise…
100. How long do you plan to be “almost there”?
101. You mean you’re NOT my blind date?
MEN ARE LIKE:
… Blenders.You need one, but you’re not quite sure why.
… Chocolate Bars.Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
… Coffee.The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.
… Commercials.You can’t believe a word they say.
… Computers.Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.
… Coolers.Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.
… Copiers.You need them for reproduction, but that’s about it.
… Curling Irons.They’re always hot, and they’re always in your hair.
… Government Bonds.They take way too long to mature.
… Horoscopes.They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
… Lava Lamps.Fun to look at, but not all that bright.
… Mascara.They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
… Parking Spots.The good ones are already taken and the ones that are left are either handicapped or extremely small.
… Popcorn.They satisfy you, but only for a little while.… Weather.Nothing can be done to change either one of them
Men vs. Women:
Barbatul a descoperit ARMELE si a inventat VANATOAREA,Femeia a descoperit VANATOAREA si a inventat BLANURILE
Barbatul a descoperit CULORILE si a inventat PICTURA,Femeia a descoperit PICTURA si a inventat MAKEUP-ul
Barbatul a descoperit LUMEA si a inventat CONVERSATIA,Femeia a descoperit CONVERSATIA si a inventat BARFA
Barbatul a descoperit JOCURILE si a inventat CARTILE DE JOC,Femeia a descoperit CARTILE DE JOC si a inventat DATUL IN CARTI
Barbatul a descoperit AGRICULTURA si a inventat MANCAREA,Femeia a descoperit MANCAREA si a inventat DIETA
Barbatul a descoperit PRIETENIA si a inventat DRAGOSTEA,Femeia a descoperit DRAGOSTEA si a inventat CASATORIA
Barbatul a descoperit FEMEIA si a inventat SEXUL,Femeia a descoperit SEXUL si a inventat DURERILE DE CAP .
GENERATIA NOASTRA:
Acesta este un text nostalgic, adresat celor care fac parte din generatia mea, GENERATIA kike.
Nascuti la inceputul anilor 80, vedem acum in anul 2007 cum casa parintilor nostri este de 50 de ori mai scumpa decat atunci cand au cumparat`o ei, si realizam ca noi o sa platim pentru casele noastre in jur de 50 de ani.
Nu avem amintiri despre primii pasi pe luna, nici despre razboaie sangeroase, dar ne pricepem la istorie si la politica mai mult decat cred batranii, care bombane in spatele nostru ca „noi nu stim nimic”.
Suntem ultima generatie care a jucat ascunsa, Castel, Ratele si Vanatorii, Tara tara vrem ostasi, Prinsa, Sticluta cu otrava, Pac Pac, Hotii si vardistii,Capra, Lapte Gros, ultimii are au strigat „Un doi trei la perete stai”, ultimii care jucam cu banu la groapa, la perete sau tzaca cu portofele facute din copertile de la caiete, pe abtibilde cu masini din pachetele de guma Turbo sau Minti, ultimii care au folosit telefoanele cu fise, dar primii care ne-am jucat pe jocurile video (remember Mario?) si primii care am vazut desene animate color.
Noi am purtat jeansi elastici, pantaloni evazati, geci de blugi de la turci, iar cine avea firme gen Lee sau Diesel era deja lider de gasca. Baietii si-au scris numarul fotbalistului preferat cu pasta de dinti pe tricouri, iar fetele si-au cusut pe blugi stelute si inimioare.
Noi am fost primi care am dat capacitatea si primi care am ajuns in Licee cu prostia aia de alegere prin calculator.
Am invatat poezii in romaneste la gradinita, nu in engleza, si am cantat MULTI ANI TRAIASCA nu HAPPY BIRTHDAY la aniversari. Spuneam misto si marfa in loc de cool.
Am sorbit din ochi Beverly Hills, Melrose Place, Twin Peaks, Dallas.. si cine zice ca nu s`a uitat ori minte ori nu avea inca televizor.
Ne uitam la Cavaleri Stelari, fetele la Seilar Moon si Sandibell, si ne jucam afara cu betzele imaginandu-ne ca suntem acele personaje, nu aveam Final Fantasy pe PS2…
Reclamele de pe posturile straine ne innebuneau, si abia asteptam sa vina si la noi inghetata Magnum, sau pustile alea absolut superbe de apa. Intre timp, ne consolam cu Tango cu vanilie si ciocolata si clasicele bidoane umplute cu apa de la robinet, care turnate in cap ne provocau pneumonii. Si uite un motiv bun sa nu mergem la scoala…
Noi am ascultat si Metallica si Pink Floyd si Ace of Base, si DJ Bobo, si Michael Jackson, si Backstreet Boys, si Take That, si inca nu auzisem de manele, singurele melodii de joc fiind horele la chefuri, la care nimeni nu stia pasii, dar toti dansam. Dar spre deosebire de copiii din ziua de azi, am auzit atat de Abba, si de Queen, cat si de noile nume gen 50 Cent si Britney Spears. Pe ei daca ii intrebi, „muzica a inceput cu Backstreet Boys, care nici nu mai sunt cool acum, orikum!”
Am citit Licurici, Pif si Hercule (care aveau cadou niste jucarii bestiale) si am baut Cico si sucuri de la Tec fara sa ne fie teama ca au prea multe e`uri, iar la scoala beam toata clasa dintr`o sticla de suc fara teama de virusi.
Noi am injurat arbitrul care ne`a furat la meciul cu Danemarca, si poate ca tot noi i`am trimis 10000 de mailuri de „dulce”.
Noi nu ne dadeam bip`uri, ne fluieram sa iesim afara, noi nu aveam dolby surround, taceam toti ca sa auzim actiunea filmului, nu aveam Nintendo sau Playstation ci jocuri tetris si jocuri de televizor, de care ne plictiseam la o luna dupa ce le cumparam si le uitam pe dulap, pline de praf.
Abia asteptam la chefuri sa jucam Fantanita, sau Flori, fete, filme sau baieti, sau Sticla, sau Adevar sau Provocare, sau orice ne dadea un pretext sa pupam !pe gura! pe cine „iubeam”. Noi suntem cei care inca au mai „cerut (sau li s`a cerut) prietenia” , care inca roseam la cuvantul „SEX”, care dadeam cu banul care sa intre in farmacie sa cumpere prezervative, pe care apoi sa le umplem cu apa si sa le aruncam in cap la colegi, care am completat mii de oracole, sperand ca iubitul sau iubita va citi acolo unde scrie “De cine iti place?” ca ne place de el/ea.
Este uimitor ca inca mai suntem in viata, pentru ca noi am mers cu bicicleta fara casca, genunchiere si cotiere, nu am avut scaune speciale in masini, nu am aruncat la gunoi bomboanele care ne cadeau din greseala pe jos, nu am avut pastile cu capac special sa nu fie desfacut de copii, nu ne`am spalat pe maini dupa ce ne`am jucat cu toti cainii si toate pisicile din cartier, nu am baut doar apa imbuteliata, ne-am tavalit si balacit prin toate baltile si nu am tinut cont de cate lipide si glucide mancam.
Noi am auzit cum s`a tras la Revolutie, noi am fost martorii a trei schimbari de bancnote si monede, noi am ras la bancuri cu Bula, noi am fost primii care au auzit`o pe Andreea Esca, noi suntem cei care mai tinem minte emisiunea „Feriti`va de magarus”.
Suntem o generatie de invingatori, de visatori, de first-timers…
Daca esti de`al nostru… kikeeee!:))):X
LECTII DE VIATA!
# 1) O cioara statea pe o craca si nu facea nimic toata ziulica. Un iepuras, vazind-o, o intreaba:- As putea sa stau si eu si sa nu fac nimic toata ziua?- Bineinteles, de ce nu? ii raspunse cioara. Astfel ca iepurasul statea pe pamant sub cioara si nu facea nimic.Deodata, apare o vulpe si-l mananca pe iepuras.MORALA: Ca sa poti sa stai si sa nu faci nimic toata ziua, trebuie sa fii foarte sus.
# 2) Un curcan statea de vorba cu un taur:- Tare as dori sa fiu in stare sa ajung pe varful acelui copac-suspina el. Dar nu am energia necesara sa fac asta.- Pai, ia mananca din rahatul meu, care este plin cu substante nutritive. Curcanul manca din rahatul taurului si reusi in prima zi sa se inalte pe prima creanga a copacului. Si tot asa mancand din aceeasi sursa, dupa trei zile reusi sa ajunga in varful copacului. Dar un vanator, vazandu-l pe curcan in varful copacului, il ochi si il impusca.MORALA: Mancand rahat poti ajunge in virf, dar nu poti ramane acolo mult timp.
# 3) O pasarica zbura spre sud inainte de sosirea iernii. Fiind foarte frig ea ingheta si cazu pe un camp. Trecind o vaca pe acolo, isi facu nevoile pe pasare. Cum statea pasarea in rahatul de vaca simti ca este destul cald, si reusi sa se dezghete. De bucurie incepu sa cante. Trecand o pisica prin preajma auzi cantecul pasaricii si veni la rahatul de vaca, dezgropa pasarica si o manca.MORALA:1. Nu oricine care te baga in rahat iti este dusman.2. Nu oricine care te scoate din rahat iti este prieten.3. Cand esti in rahat, macar taci din gura.
TIPURI DE ORGASM:
1. Astmatica: Aahh…ahhh…ahhh!
2. Geografica: Aici, aici, aici, aici!
3. Matematiciana: Mai mult, mai mult, mai mult, mai mult!
4. Religioasa : Oh Doamne, oh Doamne!
5. Sinucigasa: Mor, mor!
6. Criminala: Daca te opresti acum, te omor!
7. Zootehnista: Vino taurul meu, vino!
8. Cheerleader: Da-i…da-i…da-i!
9. Profesoara de engleza: Oh… yes, oh…good…
10. Tipul manager de proiect: Nu te opri! Continua, continua!
11. Negativa: Nuuu, nuuuuuu!
12. Pozitiva: Da…da…da!
13. Profesoara: Da…asa…pe acolo…foarte bine…corect…perfect.
14. Dezinformata : Ce e asta?… De ce?… Ce-mi faci?
15.Analista de sistem: OK. Procesul s-a terminat cu succes.
16. Clarvazatoarea: Simt ca vine…
Gabriel Garcia Marquez:
Daca pentru o clipa Dumnezeu ar uita ca sunt o marioneta din carpa si mi-ar darui o bucatica de viata, probabil ca n-as spune tot ceea ce gandesc, insa in mod categoric as gandi tot ceea ce zic.
As da valoare lucrurilor, dar nu pentru ce valoreaza, ci pentru ceea ce semnifica
As dormi mai putin, dar as visa mai mult, intelegand ca pentru fiecare minut in care inchidem ochii, pierdem saizeci de secunde de lumina. As merge cand ceilati se opresc, m-as trezi cand ceilalti dorm. As asculta cand ceilalti vorbesc si cat m-as bucura de o inghetata cu ciocolata!
Daca Dumnezeu mi-ar face cadou o bucatica de viata, m-as imbraca foarte modest, m-as intinde la soare, lasand la vederea tuturor nu numai corpul, ci si sufletul meu.
Doamne Dumnezeul meu daca as avea inima, as grava ura mea peste ghiata si as astepta pana soarele rasare. As picta cu un vis al lui Van Gogh despre stele un poem al lui Benedetti, si un cantec al lui Serrat ar fi serenada pe care i-as oferi-o lunii. As uda cu lacrimile mele trandafirii, pentru a simti durerea spinilor si sarutul incarnat al petalelor…
Dumnezeul meu, daca as avea o bucatica de viata… N-as lasa sa treaca nici o zi fara sa le spun oamenilor pe care ii iubesc, ca ii iubesc. As convinge pe fiecare femeie sau barbat spunandu-le ca sunt favoritii mei si as trai indragostit de dragoste.
Oamenilor le-as demonstra cat se insala crezand ca nu se mai indragostesc cand imbatranesc, nestiind ca imbatranesc cand nu se mai indragostesc! Unui copil i-as da aripi, dar l-as lasa sa invete sa zboare singur. Pe batrani i-as invata ca moartea nu vine cu batranetea, ci cu uitarea. Atatea lucruri am invatat de la voi, oamenii.. Am invatat ca toata lumea vrea sa traiasca pe varful muntelui, insa fara sa bage de seama ca adevarata fericire rezida in felul de a-l escalada. Am invatat ca atunci cand un nou nascut strange cu pumnul lui micut, pentru prima oara, degetul parintelui, l-a acaparat pentru intotdeauna.
Am invatat ca um om are dreptul sa se uite in jos la altul, doar atunci cand ar trebui sa-l ajute sa se ridice. Sunt atatea lucruri pe care am putut sa le invat de la voi, dar nu cred ca mi-ar servi, deoarece atunci cand o sa fiu bagat in interiorul acelei cutii, inseamna ca in mod neferecit mor.
Spune intotdeauna ce simti si fa ceea ce gandesti. Daca as stii ca asta ar fi ultima oara cand te voi vedea dormind, te-as imbratisa foarte strans si l-as ruga pe Dumnezeu sa fiu pazitorul sufletului tau. Daca as stii ca asta ar fi ultima oara cand te voi vedea iesind pe usa, ti-as da o imbratisare, un sarut si te-as chema inapoi sa-ti dau mai multe. Daca as stii ca asta ar fi ultima oara cand voi auzi vocea ta, as inregistra fiecare dintre cuvintele tale pentru a le putea asculta o data si inca o data pana la infinit. Daca as stii ca acestea ar fi ultimele minute in care te-as vedea, as spune “te iubesc”si nu mi-as asuma, in mod prostesc, gandul ca deja stii.
Intotdeauna exista ziua de maine si viata ne da de fiecare data alta oportunitate pentru a face lucrurile bine, dar daca cumva gresesc si ziua de azi este tot ce ne ramane, mi-ar face placere sa-ti spun cat te iubesc, ca niciodata te voi uita.
Ziua de maine nu-i este asigurata nimanui, tanar sau batran. Azi poate sa fie ultima zi cand ii vezi pe cei pe care-i iubesti. De aceea, nu mai astepta, fa-o azi, intrucat daca ziua de maine nu va ajunge niciodata, in mod sigur vei regreta ziua cand nu ti-ai facut timp pentru un suras, o imbratisare, un sarut si ca ai fost prea ocupat ca sa le conferi o ultima dorinta. Sa-i mentii pe cei pe care-i iubesti aproape de tine, spune-le la ureche cat de multa nevoie ai de ei, iubeste-i si trateaza-i bine, ia-ti timp sa le spui “imi pare rau”, “iarta-ma”, “te rog” si toate cuvintele de dragoste pe care le stii.
Nimeni nu-si va aduce aminte de tine pentru gandurile tale secrete. Cere-i Domnului taria si intelepciunea pentru a le exprima. Demostreaza-le prietenilor tai cat de importanti sunt pentru tine.”
CAND FEMEIA ZICE URMATOARELE, EA VREA SA ZICA:
Da — Nu
Nu — Da
Poate —Nu
Imi pare rau! — Iti va parea rau!
Ne-ar trebui… — Eu vreau
Fa cum vrei! — Pentru asta o sa platesti cu varf si indesat!
Hotaraste tu! — Hotararea cea mai buna este de fapt deja clara
Trebuie sa vorbim — Iar trebuie sa te critic
Trebuie sa inveti sa comunici — Trebuie doar sa fii de parerea mea
Bineinteles, fa cum vrei! — Nu vreau sub nici o forma sa faci asa
Nu sunt furioasa! — Bineinteles ca sunt furioasa, boule!
Esti asa de viril! — Ar fi cazul sa te barbieresti!
Azi esti de-a dreptul dragut cu mine — Te gandesti numai la sex
Stinge lumina — Am celulita
Bucataria noastra e asa de stramta — Vreau un apartamen nou
As vrea niste perdele noi — As vrea niste perdele, covoare, mobila si tapete noi
Am auzit un zgmot — Mi am dat seama ca deja dormi
Ma iubesti? — Vreau un colier cu perle
Cat de tare ma iubesti? — Am facut ceva ce tie nu ti place
Nu-i nimic — Idiotule!!!
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